A friend casually made a comment on drinking (alchohol) recently,
" At this age, people drink because of peer pressure. My father lets me drink but I think that if I did so, it would because every one else is doing it"
This was right. To an extent. The social culture of the youth has made being different difficult. If you don't do the cool stuff that everyone is doing, you are ostracized and made fun of. It takes a very high level of self- assurance and confidence to be what you want to be.
Coming back to the comment, I say it is right to an extent because just because you do something with friends, doesn't mean you are falling prey to pressure forces.
Sometimes, friends are just an outlet to what you want to do. They are the catalysts t fulfill your wishes and desires, dreams and aspirations.
This argument can be extended to the Contemporary Indian Society at large. A lot of us do a lot of things just because everyone around us is doing it.
I am not being sexist here, when I give the following example:
Women in India have forever been home bound. They have found happiness in making their families happy. Then came a surge of western influences telling them that they had potential that went beyond the home making skills. And everyone was suddenly clammering to go out, get a job and fight for their rights as equals in the Patriarchial society.
Housewives I know, are annoyed that they don't go out and work. This frustration means they don't do their other duties, that as home makers, too.
Similar is the case with wearing particular type of clothes. You wear something because you know every one is wearing it and it is cool to wear it.
You blame the fate that doesn't allow you to do things that everyone is doing.
But take a break from this and ask yourself, "is that what you want to do?"
There may be women who actually want to stay at home, they know going out is not their thing, it is not what they want to do, and yet here they are complaining of lack of opportunities. Somewhere, in this rat race we have forgotten to make sure, that we do what we want to, what we like, what makes us happy. We are too busy falling prey to advertisements of universal standards of what happiness should be.
Which brings me to this, in whatever you do, make sure you do it because you want to do it. Not because every one is doing it, not because some one tells us that what you do should not or could not make you happy. Even it means going old world, going back to what is now considered out of fashion, so be it.
And, also, if what you want sometimes is what IS considered very hep and modern, doesn't mean you are not being yourself. The trick is to just ask yourself every time you take up something,
"Is this what I want ?"
Everything else doesn't matter.
You want to drink, go drink. You want to party, go party. But because you want it, and would so even if you had not been in the company you are in or the college you go to. And the reverse applies too. You want to stay at home and read a book, do that. You want to listen to Hindi classical over Tiesto, go ahead and let no one stop you. Let your wishes rule over that of others, because like Prof. Mitchell Green says,
"Your (cognitive) knowledge of you is different from others' knowledge of you. And you know yourself better than others do."
So, go live the life of your dreams. And don't let others tell you what dreams are big and which are small. I may want to be a world famous actress, and that is a big dream. Another may want to open a small school for not more than 100 students. The former doesn't achieve it, the latter does. So, even though the dream of being an actress may seem bigger, it is really the fact the teacher is there and doing what she wants that makes all the difference.
For living the dream is what makes it large, and not the dream itself.
" At this age, people drink because of peer pressure. My father lets me drink but I think that if I did so, it would because every one else is doing it"
This was right. To an extent. The social culture of the youth has made being different difficult. If you don't do the cool stuff that everyone is doing, you are ostracized and made fun of. It takes a very high level of self- assurance and confidence to be what you want to be.
Coming back to the comment, I say it is right to an extent because just because you do something with friends, doesn't mean you are falling prey to pressure forces.
Sometimes, friends are just an outlet to what you want to do. They are the catalysts t fulfill your wishes and desires, dreams and aspirations.
This argument can be extended to the Contemporary Indian Society at large. A lot of us do a lot of things just because everyone around us is doing it.
I am not being sexist here, when I give the following example:
Women in India have forever been home bound. They have found happiness in making their families happy. Then came a surge of western influences telling them that they had potential that went beyond the home making skills. And everyone was suddenly clammering to go out, get a job and fight for their rights as equals in the Patriarchial society.
Housewives I know, are annoyed that they don't go out and work. This frustration means they don't do their other duties, that as home makers, too.
Similar is the case with wearing particular type of clothes. You wear something because you know every one is wearing it and it is cool to wear it.
You blame the fate that doesn't allow you to do things that everyone is doing.
But take a break from this and ask yourself, "is that what you want to do?"
There may be women who actually want to stay at home, they know going out is not their thing, it is not what they want to do, and yet here they are complaining of lack of opportunities. Somewhere, in this rat race we have forgotten to make sure, that we do what we want to, what we like, what makes us happy. We are too busy falling prey to advertisements of universal standards of what happiness should be.
Which brings me to this, in whatever you do, make sure you do it because you want to do it. Not because every one is doing it, not because some one tells us that what you do should not or could not make you happy. Even it means going old world, going back to what is now considered out of fashion, so be it.
And, also, if what you want sometimes is what IS considered very hep and modern, doesn't mean you are not being yourself. The trick is to just ask yourself every time you take up something,
"Is this what I want ?"
Everything else doesn't matter.
You want to drink, go drink. You want to party, go party. But because you want it, and would so even if you had not been in the company you are in or the college you go to. And the reverse applies too. You want to stay at home and read a book, do that. You want to listen to Hindi classical over Tiesto, go ahead and let no one stop you. Let your wishes rule over that of others, because like Prof. Mitchell Green says,
"Your (cognitive) knowledge of you is different from others' knowledge of you. And you know yourself better than others do."
So, go live the life of your dreams. And don't let others tell you what dreams are big and which are small. I may want to be a world famous actress, and that is a big dream. Another may want to open a small school for not more than 100 students. The former doesn't achieve it, the latter does. So, even though the dream of being an actress may seem bigger, it is really the fact the teacher is there and doing what she wants that makes all the difference.
For living the dream is what makes it large, and not the dream itself.
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